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We live in a fat world

 

The stupid thing is that once you have put on fat, it isn’t easy to get rid of it.
The reason for this is that muscle cells can operate either on sugar (glycogen) or on fat. But if we don’t exercise – and that is today’s norm – these cells need not take in any fat for years. They simply thrive on sugar, which is easily available and, if need be, can be supplemented from the huge sugar store in the liver. To put it in a nutshell: the muscle cells can do without fat. This is where a brutal learning law, discovered by psychologists, kicks in: “If you don’t use it, you lose it” – we will meet this law again shortly when we talk about sex. Our goal is to retrain our muscle cells to burn fat – by Easter.

How do you do this? You exercise! There are two main ways. One, that you know from Mr. Strunz in the media, where you can see it all the time, is running. Running will empty the sugar store after kilometre 6. That’s where the muscle must willy-nilly start operating on fat, and that’s why there are so very few fat marathon-runners. Take a look at this – and, if it is not what you want to do, plump for the seminar-cabaret-option. Wait until you are hungry! But mind, this will take a long time if you are over-weight. However, once you are hungry, start an easy exercise program. Put on sensible shoes protecting your ankles – and walk fast. This will normally be sufficient to get your pulse up to 100 to 110 per minute, unless, of course, you are stickler and want to buy one of those funny watches. Then continue walking just fast enough to allow you still to speak. It’s dangerous to do more. The motto is: to do less but for a longer time. Walk fast for 30 minutes! If you are hungry, this will help you to burn more fat than by jogging for 30 minutes and ruining your ankles in the process. Do this three times a week for forty minutes – two hours per week on aggregate – and in four to five weeks (i.e. after eight to ten hours of fast walking) even the stupidest muscle will learn how to eat fat. We can use a test to find out whether it is really up to the job.

How do find out whether a muscle can eat fat? As you can’t ask it directly, you must test it – but do it for fun, not to lose weight, once on a fasting day. Don’t eat anything, drink a lot – three to four litres of water and/or green tea! That’s what we call fasting, and the purpose is not to lose weight but just to test the muscle. “Can it already eat fat or not?” this is the question. If you have done it correctly, you shouldn’t feel any hunger on such a day, because you eat yourself. That’s the idea behind fat: you can eat yourself. Don’t get the idea to do this longer than one day. Not eating anything for more than one day will lead to a catastrophe. Let’s take a look back at the development of the human race over thousands of generations to find out about the trick that we have learned to cope with when there is not much to eat. Imagine there is a little slave in your brain, whose only task is to make sure that we don’t starve. If there is not much to eat around, he can do two things: First, he can run down the system. This will make you feel cold and gooey, and your metabolism will go down. That’s a nuisance, but it doesn’t really matter. The second, and stupider option, is for the little slave to start playing around with the ponderostat in your brain, the weight controller that determines the future and whether or not we should accumulate reserves. And while you are telling all your friends how much weight you have lost, the little devil in your brain turns and cranks up the ponderostat. The program he switches on by doing so is simply “If there is any food around, go for it and grab it!” – and this is the secret reason why all weight-reduction programs are so stupid!

What you can do in a situation like this – and you will hear about it more and more in the media – is opt for Dinner Cancelling, or in other words: eat one day and fast one day. This is a more intelligent separation diet than the one that has conquered the market. You have probably heard about – the diet regimen based on separating proteins and carbon hydrates. This is how self-styled therapists explain it: the body is simply not clever enough to digest proteins and carbon hydrates at the same time. To begin with, this is simply not possible, because food is always a mixture of these two. And if you really try to stick to the separation method, eating becomes so complicated that you automatically take in less food. This is how all these well-known diet regimens function: create a special rule that makes eating more complicated. You might just as well opt for the Orpheum-diet: put a chair on top of the dinner table! Up there you can eat whatever you want, and you will be slim by Easter. .

The better food separation method is to eat one day and fast one day. Why? The idea is not simply to lose weight, but to extend your life-span. A word of warning is here in point! If all Austrians decided to join in, we would undermine our social insurance program even faster than we are doing anyway. Our anti-aging program would push up life-expectancy for all of us by 20% to 30%. It’s all there for you to read: Prof. Huber calls it Dinner Cancelling and the Americans, putting it more simply, “Eat one day and fast one day”!

What I would additionally recommend is the Separation Diet of the Future: : separate Sex and Food. On the day you eat, you are allowed to canoodle, but going all the way is strictly out, no matter how horny you feel. But that will make your life really interesting: the next day you will have time enough for sex, because you won’t be wasting any shopping, cooking and eating. Should your life have been so boring up to now that you have felt the need to watch Taxi Orange – that’s observe how other people live – opting for the Separation Regimen is bound to make both your sex life and your eating more interesting. Two mega problems, sexual apathy and overweight, are eliminated in one go. There are quite a few that have already decided to come on board and I am getting great feedbacks.

’s meet at Easter?



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